What is love? A symbol of affection, gratitude and romance. I was blog-hopping around and I came across this post that said so much about how love is not what it is anymore. I wonder if it's really true.

It would be really sad if this is the case, so much that we have fought for, from the freedom to choose our spouse to the freedom to choose our lovers, the freedom to love has been fought for centuries. What happen during that process? Have our thoughts and education somehow taint our views on this sacred emotion?

Scientists have done studies on how love is actually a chemical reaction in our minds. My beliefs of finding true love kind of shattered along with that revelation. What has become of the pure emotion given to us? The emotion that tied Adam to Eve, Romeo to Juliet? Suddenly, science claims that that love is not a miracle, but merely a molecule. Soulmates don't exist.

I really wonder if, with the advancement we make each day, comes the disillusionment of every single thing that was once held sacred and dear to us. I think I have come to a point where love has as much hold over me as "God" has. I still "fall in love" with guys, I still say "I Love You" to my mom, but all these... I have that nagging thought that tells me these emotions aren't real. They aren't what comes from my soul, but my brain. An organ that determines my every thought, action and ultimately, my life and death.

I cease to exist when my brain cease to function. This sudden realisation makes me somehow unsure of what I really want in life now. Should I go forth towards my dream of being a war journalist or should I find a regular stable job. A choice between dying at any moment or dying at 70 years old. I think the sane choice would be obvious. But then again, when am I ever sane.

To be honest, I never plan to live beyond 40. So I try to cherish every moment I have right now. All the friends I have, all the family members beside me. I try to tell them how much I care for them, miss them and how thankful I am for their mere presence in this short journey.

I think if you really know me well, this won't be a surprise to you. I truly care for the ones close to me. Despite what I say, deep down, I know that if the day ever comes and I have to leave forever, I would choose to have just my family and close friends send me off.

I think I just wrote my dying wish here. And it actually seem to fit so well.

Raquel