#01-478.

Sensible thinking gone,

I think I'm falling in love with you.

The thoughts of you never cease

your beautiful face

6-0-9.blogspot.com

Profile

Nom: Raquel.L.J.M

Ecole: Ngee Ann Polytechnic

E-mail: raquelleejm@gmail.com

Classe: T206

CCA: AVA(died), RedCross(died), Videography

Interests: swimming, reading, diving, talking(is this counted??), sleeping, writing

Tagbox is at the BOTTOM. Stupid formatting cause me to dump it at the bottom.

Disclaimer

We cease to exist the moment we die. If I have offended anyone in anyway in this blog, I sincerely apologise.*

*Only applicable to those i truly did not mean to offend. The rest can screw themselves.

the last time...

samedi, décembre 12, 2009 // 1:10 AM

I can't really remember the reason why I stopped blogging so much. Perhaps I've decided that I should stop being so self-obsessed with my own life and take a look around at others. The today happened. Reading my old posts (yes, something I do very often), I decide that now is the time for one.

Lately so much has changed. The last time I updated, some people were still very close to me, some I barely even know them, others complete strangers. Then time passed and I have returned from Cambodia, SHE is no longer my friend and somehow, I got to make so many new friends my mind can barely remember all their names at once. Not once have I ever regretted any of the decisions that I have made. Cambodia was the right decision, YOG was and so is my passion for the media. I finally feel that I belong.

You know how you never realise that you've changed till you've met up with your old friends and you see ho different you really are from the past? Well, that's the feeling I always get when I see people I have not met in a very long time. I think i have changed for the better. Even if i lost some people along the way, I think overall I'd give my life a 7 or an 8. School work is killing me and I have no relationship to speak of, but at least I have a bunch of cool peeps to hang out with. I don't really complain. Until it's late at night.

When these peeps start talking to me though, all these thoughts are gone. They don't really know how much light they shine into my dark and twisted soul. But their ever-annoying presence gives me that little hope that is dying out in me. I truly love these people.

Raquel

Raquel, xoxo

JaeBum 2PM!!!

mercredi, septembre 09, 2009 // 12:10 AM

This is crazy. This should not be happening, ever! JaeBum cannot leave 2PM! It is not the same without him! Every pack needs a leader, without him, 2PM loses its character! I don't really know if I should cry or scream at this piece of news. It's crazy to think that he is now on the plane, bound for the US, heading home to Seattle forever. I need to sit down quietly and process things through.

I need my fortress of solitude. Now.

Raquel

Raquel, xoxo

Again and again

lundi, août 24, 2009 // 4:10 PM

I hate to write this on my blog but I seriously think we need to re-evaluate our friendship. I don't mean like break it off or what. Just, re-evaluate. Like maybe take time to try and figure out what we really mean to each other. Constant fighting every six months is seriously not funny. I am starting to think we have issues. We don't even see each other that often. Yet, we still fight.

Honestly, I'm sick of having the need to apologise for everything. Sometimes, I really wonder why I even bother apologising when everything I do don't seem to make you happy. I wonder why I even ask for forgiveness. It's tiring having to watch my every step, making sure I don't do stuff to anger you.

Maybe you feel the same way too? After all, I must have made you feel suffocated with my constant mothering. I think we should really try and make this friendship less... intense, I think that is the word. I think even some of our mutual friends feel intimidated by our relationship.

I don't mean to say, "let's NOT be friends", I'm just implying "maybe our friendship should be less commanding". You have to admit, up till now, we have never tried to modify our current situation... I think it's just avoidance. From the fact that our friendship has issues. Like, what should we do when we fight, how we can resolve it and what should matter to us. We need to sort it through.

Raquel

Raquel, xoxo

Sodden

mardi, août 11, 2009 // 8:51 PM

Honestly, sometimes I think I'm just really daft. I don't know who or what to trust anymore. All the talk going on around me, he is good, he is traitorous, he likes you, he is using you. Makes me wish all these would just disappear, the rain and the forest ground replacing everything.

I wanna make things right again. I wish I never met him in the first place. Saves me the trouble of figuring out what the hell he is actually thinking. Come to think of it, Aaron was the same. They are both the same. It's scary. Damn, I keep falling for the same bastards.

Maybe I should really make a trip to Sentosa on my own. Or maybe climb Bukit Timah on a rainy day. All the bitching about him and his actions is starting to sound like nails scratching on a chalkboard. Bloody annoying.

Maybe I am just getting tired of all this, the constant thought of him is making my brain not function like a normal human being. I am not very sane to begin with in the first place.

Seriously wish I was back in ITE now.

Raquel

Raquel, xoxo

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